beyond the greatness

Kennedy Maren: 11 months

O Kennedy Girl, you are 11 months old! I might just be tearing up right now thinking about how you are, so soon, not going to be my baby. I mean, you'll always be my baby. But goodness, you are just growing up so much!

We are seeing more and more of your personality every day & it is just wonderful. You've got the very normal almost-1 year old- attached- to- momma thing going on. You stand up, cruise, and/or try to take a few steps all the time. You love being with your brothers. You have the funniest curious/mischievous smile that just makes me swell.

You are by far our worst teether. But to give you some credit you gained 4 teeth this month, in the strangest order- middle left and the one next to it & then a few days later middle right and the one next it it. You are definitely the typical cranky, not sleeping, want to be held teething baby. So we've put you to bed extra early and I've spent a lot of time with you on my hip.

Your favorite foods are still anything savory, but you are warming up to a couple fruits including apples and blueberries. You don't eat a ton when your teeth hurt, I think. You still only drink about 6oz of formula, made very warm. You enjoy baths and hanging out in the ergo, but are starting to refuse to fall asleep in the ergo or really any where besides your crib/ pack n play that's in our room. You are fiercely attached your bunny, I'm pretty sure you can't sleep without it.

This month was pretty much full of lots of snow & cold plus a few warm, sunshine days. I left you for the first time when I went to Tennessee to celebrate Kaci's birthday. You got to stay with Kma & I'm sure you loved all the spoiling and cuddles! It was so nice to be away, but I have happy to have you back in my arms!

My beautiful girl,

Thank you for your sweet smiles and all that bunny love. You surprise us with your little funny ways. We are all smitten with you and just can't imagine our days without you.

We love you more and more every day!
love, your momma

a good word:

last weekend I had the privilege of visiting Kaci, to celebrate her 30th birthday & enjoy time with her family. i can think of nothing but utter thankfulness for the time. on Sunday we went to their church and their pastor was speaking on "Relationships: Ruin & Redemption: A Sermon About Mommy Guilt," specifically Ephesians 6:4,

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger,

but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

He gave such a good word that I feel like I must write it down!

The is a distinct difference between Guilt, Conviction, and Condemnation.

Guilt is from PEOPLE.

This is SOMEONE making you feel like you don't add up to their expectations.

Conviction is from the HOLY SPIRIT.

The Holy Spirit living inside us, becomes uncomfortable with our action(s) of sin. The Holy Spirit lovingly and gently points a finger at an ACTION and says that was not lovely, pure, of me, etc.

Condemnation is from SATAN.

Satan says YOU are failure, I hate YOU, YOU have ruined everything. Your action is not condemned, YOU are condemned.

And what I'm dealing with everyday is not "mommy guilt," it's mommy CONDEMNATION and it is of the Enemy. The lie I am believing that my children's well-being, in this life and the next, is based completely on my performance as a mother.

It is a lie that must be combated with the Truth of the Word of God and the love of the Gospel!

The Word says, "For there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."

The Truth says, Jesus Christ is my child's Savior, not me!

The Gospel says, I do not have to be a perfect parent. I need to a broken parent that ushers myself & my children to the throne of the King. They need a sinner parent who knows that they deeply need Christ. We have a Savior who never slumbers or sleeps and who loves my kids way more than I love my kids. As I fail, He is more than sufficient.

The Truth is:

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

if you want to listen (and I highly suggest you do if this is something you struggle with) here is the link.

Kennedy Maren: 9 & 10 months

Well, my dear sweet girl. I did it. I officially have not done one your monthly "letters" and am having to combine two months. But goodness gracious you are wonderful. You are sweet and gaining the funniest little personality. You say "uh oh" at all the right moments. You can clap and wave- only when you really want to. You are "cruising" along all the furniture and spend a lot of time sitting on your knees. You are wearing 18month clothes & have the most wonderful thighs. Your hair is growing in- light brown, I think. You're eyes have turned more gray than blue. You still love hot bottles and are on formula all the time now. Most of the time you sleep through the night, but every once and a while you like to get up around 4am- keeps us on our toes. You love playing with your brothers and Joshua's dancing always makes your laugh. You're doing pretty good at the food thing, favorites include pirates booty, stew, and noodles. You still don't really like sweet stuff or fruit, but have recently enjoyed strawberries & oranges. You love to hang upside down. It does not matter how tired you are, you do not sleep in the car. You still love, love, love your little bunny and sucking your thumb when you fall asleep.

During your 9th and 10th months we celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas. Thanksgiving was of course all about the food at Auntie Karla & Uncle Dan's. O and the dogs. YOU LOVE THE DOGS. It was so fun having watching you enjoy your First Christmas! You got a stocking, some new moccasins, lots of clothes, a couple fun "girl" toys, and your brothers picked out a cute shirt for you. You loved being around all of our families and Kaitlynn was super sweet to you on Pollard Christmas. I am praying your sweet, special "only-girl-Pollard-cousin" relationship continues!

You still only have 2 teeth and I thought for certain by now your front two teeth would pop through, but alas they have not. You got a mild cold, but nothing too serious. You take two naps and most of the time wake up in the middle of your afternoon nap to just be heard then fall back asleep for another hour. Your bedtime is pretty strictly 6:45 or 7pm, but if we are out you quietly observe and don't fuss too much. You are usually awake right about 7am.

Just the other day, you totally surprised me and starting climbing up the stairs at small group. I didn't even know you knew how to go up stairs! I am very thankful- you never pull out your bows or hair ties. I've even given you your first "ponytail," right on the top of you head! The cuteness is almost more than I can bare! You enjoy bath time with your brothers, until you don't, then you really don't! You love love love your grandmas!

9/10 month Stats:
Height: 30 in
Weight: 21lbs 10oz
Head Circumference: 17.5in
Size Clothes: 18months
Size Diapers: 4

Kennedy Girl, we love you o so very much. You are sweet and lovely and we are so thankful for you!
we love you more and more everyday!
love, your momma

2015 in Review {favorite pictures}

in a lot of ways 2015 was the best of times and some of the hardest times. our sweet, sweet girl Kennedy Maren was born! we've had 12 months of growing as a family of 5, of serving and loving Alethia Church, of traveling and working, of meeting goals, of enjoying time and food with family and friends, of drawing near to Christ, of parenting and disciplining, of laughing and dancing and growing! 3 small children was been no joke! it's just a hard, exhausting, growing and wonderful! we celebrated 6 years of marriage & birthdays- 1 day, 2 years, 4 years, 29 years, and 28 years! we bought a new {to us} car. Asher & Kennedy got dedicated at church. Manny went out of the country 3 times & on quite a few work & pleasure trips. i got to go see the Krause's in Nashville. Manny & I went to Chicago with Kennedy for a wedding. zoo trips, youth retreat, women's retreat, kitty drama, park days, stroller walks, Montrose trips, Rockies games, & Johnny's football games. this year was a good year. we have so very much to be thankful for.

Jesus is so so so good.

January:

Joshie & Daddy matching! So exciting for this 3 year old!

February:

36 weeks pregnant. At Dani & Sean's beautiful winter wedding!

March:

Kennedy Maren is born!

April:

We got a fence! It's been life changing for this family!

May:


Family Day at the Zoo. It was a hard time for this family, but together is always good!

June:

Asher Gray is 2!

July:

O My Girl!

August:

Joshua's FIRST 1st Day of School!

September:

Manny, Kennedy & I in Chicago!

October:

Kennedy Girl sharing a cookie with her Gram.

November:

Joshua Manuel is 4 & LOVES the snow!

December:

because really!

a favorite tradition: Christmas Tree Hunting

Every year since we have been married, right after Thanksgiving we trek up into the mountains to find that {nearly} perfect Christmas Tree. It truly is one of my favorite traditions of the holiday season.

I love packing up into the car with my parents and brother {sometimes a sister has joined} and heading into the unknown, hoping to find that perfect tree. I {sort of love} love prepping everyone in the car once we arrive- gloves, boots, jacks, baby carriers, etc. I also love that it costs $10 for a Christmas tree!

But mostly, I love that every year is different & every year we spend the whole trip talking about the previous trips we have taken. The one year, Blitz ran off & Manny finally caught him by playing dead in the middle of road. The one year, we went to a new spot and there was NO snow & NO trees. The one year, it was so cold we only walked about 50 feet from the car. The one year we saw wild turkeys. And this year: we saw deer, it snowed, the snow was deep and the trees were beautiful.

Each year, we added more children and the boys are just growing and walking and enjoying it more and more! I truly look forward to this day every year! I can't wait to see how Joshua, Asher & Kennedy truly feel about the this tradition. It's the best way to get in the holiday spirit if you ask me!

Merry Christmas Tree!

{no family picture this year - oops!}

Kennedy Maren: 8 months

My Beautiful Girl,

In all honesty, I am doing this update 1.5 months late. But I don't want to forget & I want to write down all the wonderful things that happened in your eighth month of life. You continued to eat more and more solids. Still not a fan of sweet {bananas, apples, pears, etc} and love sweet potato & avocado + anything I will feed you straight from the table. You've also enjoyed Cheerios and the occasional Pirates Booty :)

This month we traveled to Gunnison to watch Johnny play football & then over to Montrose to see Gram. Gram gave you your very first cookie and you were not upset about it all. What a gift we have in Gram!

We also celebrated Halloween- you were the cutest little OWL I ever did see!

And lastly, you worked on you crawling, kept rolling around, and starting getting into more and more trouble!

Your brothers are your #1 fans! They love to cheer you on & always make you laugh!!!

We love you Miss Kennedy Maren!

You are a pure gift!

love you more and more everyday,

your momma

Joshua Manuel: 4 years

Joshua Manuel,
You are four years old. That seems very old. We have been parents for four years... and are still very much figuring it all out! It's been crazy and fun and hard and awesome and scary and wonderful. All, I know is that we love you TOO much and are so very thankful you are our son.

November 1st landed on a Sunday this year, so we had the breakfast of your choice- donuts, eggs & sausage and then went to church. After church we went out to lunch, your choice- tacos at Chipotle. Grandma Mary joined us for lunch. That night we all just stayed home, had noodles for dinner, and then watched Cars 2 & ate popcorn. You were celebrated the following Wednesday at school and brought clementines & pirates booty for snack with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles plates and napkins. Then on Friday, we went bowling with a few of your friends! It was so much fun to just have fun & celebrate YOU! Your Daddy got you SKIS for your birthday and you can't wait to go skiing down the mountain with Daddy.

Joshua, it it such a joy to be your mom. You are kind to those around you. You are considerate and aware of others feelings. You love to run & jump & do karate. You also love shows and pirates booty. You go to preschool on Wednesday and Thursday mornings. School is a great blessing for all of us and you are really enjoying it. Our neighbor, Caleb is in your class. You don't usually tell me about what happens in your day, but then randomly you will start singing a song you learned in school like "Days of the Week" set to the Adam's Family tune or "Gray Squirrel, Gray Squirrel, swish your bushy tail." You love to make your sister laugh and often try to hold her. You and Asher are great brothers. You play hard, fight hard, and love hard. Your favorite "pretend play" is "mom & son" or "dog & owner." The two of you also make lots of messes together and get in big trouble together. You are just starting to like football and watching it with Daddy. We are working hard on learning the consequences of disobedience and how to serve with a joyful heart and what to do when you don't get your way. It's hard for you to not know the plan or when things don't go your way. You love your friends and spending time with family.

At four years old:

Favorite Food- noodles, peppers, pizza, apples.

Favorite Show- any NEW show- you don't really care about watching one show over and over, you just always want to watch a NEW show. but you like Rescue Bots & Paw Patrol.

Favorite Toy- all your cars.

Favorite Book- Ferdinand.

Best Friend- Asher, Jackson & Lily.

Favorite Activity- playing outside in the dirt or water.

Happy Birthday, my boy! I am so looking forward to seeing what this year brings. To see what you learn and what you like. To see how you grow, physically and emotionally and even spiritually. To see how your relationships with your brother and sister grow. To see the world through your four year old eyes and hold your hand as we adventure.

we love you more and more everyday!

love, you momma