tuesday thoughts

 been a while since i've had some tuesday thoughts... 
joshua finally ate a regular breakfast this morning! 
i was literally singing praises for the rice cereal/ applesauce breakfast he ate. 
it's been just over a week since he threw up for the first time {at red robin. all over me.}
he really hasn't had much of an appetite since then. 
but then this morning he ate a regular breakfast. 
cute boy eating peaches (before sickness)
the other day my dear friend amanda showed me her lastest sewing project. 
it inspired me. 
i broke out my sewing machine for the first time in months. 
and sewed one pillow cover {for joshua's nusery}
and turned 1 curtain panel into 2 {for our master bedroom}
so glad i finally got those things done. 

i've also been extremely motivated to organize. 
there is so much stuff. 
and most of this stuff hasn't even been looked at since we moved here {one year ago}
so i'm going through everything. 
organizing and figuring out if we should keep it or toss it. 
{don't worry Manny, i'm not touching any of your stuff}
hanging out. skipping church with my sick boy.
so i lost my camera. hence the not so great itouch pictures. 
i have no idea how i'm going to afford to get a new one. 
my plan- sell some of that stuff i don't need. 
hopefully people want my stuff. 
i really want a new camera. 
smiley boy. {picture quality so low, need.new.camera.}
it seems like the weather is starting to turn...
all these people "i love fall bLAH BLAh BlAh"
i have no desire for summer to end. 
i hate being cold. 
i like summer. i like being warm. 
joshua doesn't have any clothes to wear for fall. 
stay summer forever!
{manny told me i live in the wrong state... i think he's right}
angel baby glowing the glory of God's light. {haha}

joshua grew three inches over the last few months. 
all of his pajamas are too small. 
poor kid. trying to squeeze his toes into too short sleepers. 
and i can't find any 12mo sleepers for a decent price. ah!
sweet boy fell asleep in my arms

i think that's all i've got for today. 
going to go reorganize my craft supplies/storage/area. 
want to buy my desk???

THE life

"He who has the Son, has life;
He who does not have the Son, does not have life."
1 John 5:12

the days have been long and hard. 
i really have had no words. certainly not the right words. 

an incredible husband, loving father, great friend, brother and son. a hero. 
Major W. David Gray was in killed in Afghanistan on Wednesday, August 8th, 2012. 
his lovely wife is a dear friend. 
his three beautiful children call us Miss Kim and Mr. Manny and seriously love our Baby Joshua.
i didn't know David all that well, but the short time i spent with him i knew one thing- he was a servant of Jesus Christ. he lived his life to glorify the King. and in his death God is so glorified.

the pain has been, at times, enough to make me want to throw up. 
the tears come easily and quickly. 
it hurts. 
to know that such an amazing man was taken from this life, just too early for our earthly understanding. 
i've been clinging to this Truth:
 "God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.[c]
There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.
Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.
The Lord Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Psalm 46:1-7

 the Word also tells us... "better is one day in Your courts than thousands elsewhere" psalm 84:10
and yesterday as hundreds gathered in the big chapel to honor and celebrate the life of a hero we know that is true... David is spending eternity worshiping the King of Kings, the Name above all Names, the Lord Jesus Christ. 
and as we honored and celebrated we stood in the Truth of Christ's promise: 
 If you declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. As Scripture says, “Anyone who believes in him will never be put to shame.” For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile —the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”
Romans 10: 9-13

David lived his life to honor God. he was Christ to all he met, to all he served, to all he loved. 
his life was the ultimate testimony of Christ's love, forgiveness, and promise. 
David has the Son, he has THE life. 

it's hard to fathom how we go on from here... 
as a friend wrote this morning: 
"Maybe revival's fire will begin to burn a little in each of us and we will channel our inner David Gray and tell our friends and neighbors how much Jesus loves them, not just in words but by being living examples of Christ's love and by putting others needs ahead of our own. Thanks David for inspiring me and I'm sure countless others."

pray for heather and her beautiful children. 
pray for the hard days ahead as they travel for more services and David's final resting place in Arlington National Cemetery.
pray for peace and strength beyond all understanding. 
pray for grace and love. 
pray for the days when there's no one there and the pain is too much to bear. 
pray for soft hearts and that Satan may have no grasp.
pray that David's legacy would continue to live on and serve as a testimony of what it means to serve the Lord with your whole life, even to the point of ultimate sacrifice.

Joshua Manuel: 9 months

We can just call this month "Milestone Month"
I'm literally amazed at all the things you learned and mastered this month!

Let's take a quick inventory... 

You went from crawling/ laying on the floor to a sitting position.

You pulled yourself up in your crib ... and then on all the furniture, walls, and surfaces possible.

You learned to dance.

You said your first word- Dada ... and now you say it all the time.

You learned to wave bye-bye.

You took your first steps ... and now you want to walk everywhere. no fear.

You went from army crawling to big boy-up on all fours-crawling.

You are starting to clap more and on purpose, especially when I sing to you.

You got your first 2 teeth!
Another milestone, you spent your first night(s) away from mommy & daddy!
We took AlethiaYouth to Joplin, MO for our first missions trip! 26 students & 9 leaders. We did lots of landscaping and hard work in the hot hot heat. You played and played and played with Kma, Opa, Auntie Karla & Uncle Johnny. It was incredibly hard leaving you, but I knew you were just going to have a blast. We got to facetime quite often and Kma sent lots of pictures. Kma and Uncle Johnny did get the flu, but you took good care of them.

Speaking of the flu, you and I got flu the week before we left. You seriously threw up {not spit up} 3 times in one night. It was incredibly scary for this first time momma and I felt so inadequate. But you really just threw up and were extra sleepy but not incredibly sad or upset. I found it very funny that you had such an aversion to watermelon {which you formerly loved} after throwing it up. I mean it made sense, but I was surprised that at such a young age you knew!

In other news...
Your favorite toy is the music table. You really don't need any other toys right now.

You put everything in your mouth! every.single.thing.
You also get into everything. drawers, cords, outlets, paper, tupperware, everything.
You're eating lots of food. You especially love peas and blueberries! 

We went on a fun hike with Kma, Opa, Unlce Johnny, Aunt Inge, and Jake.

We also went to the lake while they were here visiting. You LOVED the water!
You just giggled and splashed and tried to swim the whole time. You also ate quite a bit of sand. yum.

9 month stats: 
Diaper size- 3
Clothing size- 6-9months
Weight- around 18 pounds
Shoe size- ??? your feet are too fat to fit in any shoes!

still pretty much the same as last month...

This month has been great. I can't believe you are getting so big. Becoming so independent. 
I love hearing your giggle and saying Dada over and over again. 
You are such an adventurer and rarely cry when you fall down or hurt yourself. 
We are so thankful for every moment with you! 

we love you more and more everyday! 
love, momma & daddy


tonight's got me feeling pretty overwhelmed. 
trying to do it all. 
the never ending sink full of dirty dishes. 
all the joshua food in the fridge that i've yet to steam & cut up. 
manny's 13 work shirts that i still haven't ironed.
another night just me & the baby. 
blocks. turtles. toys. everywhere. 
that disgusting messy desk of mine. 
a floor that's never clean enough. 
and on. and on. and on. 

and just as i was standing there at the sink washing the billionth bottle for the day, wallowing in my selfishness...
the Lord just said, Kim- there is running water. flowing freely from this sink. every minute of everyday. you have more than 1 bottle. and money to feed that baby. you never have to worry about your baby going to be hungry. you make choices everyday that millions never have the opportunity to. you are so blessed. 

and in my selfishness and tears, i chose gratitude. 

it seems so simple.

but this sinful nature of mine often chooses selfishness.  

Lord, forgive of my selfishness. i need You. i can't and never will be able to "do it all" on my own. i pray for wisdom. i pray that everyday my heart matches yours more and more. break my heart for what breaks yours- not a sink full of dishes, but for millions of people starving and dying and sick. i pray that i see Your hand working in my life and rely completely on You in the big and the little. Lord, let my life shine for you. let my heart sing Your praises and my mouth confess Your truth. Lord, allow my to chose gratitude each and everyday. amen.

For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation to all men, instructing us to deny ungodliness and worldly desires and to live sensibly, righteously and godly in the present age,  looking for the blessed hope and the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Christ Jesus, who gave Himself for us to redeem us from every lawless deed, and to purify for Himself a people for His own possession, zealous for good deeds.
titus 2: 11-14


i don't think the tv has ever been on this much. 
dedication. sacrifice. pride of country. sportsmanship. team.
each story. each athlete. each sport. 

random friday.

last week went fast. 
this week was just strange. wednesday i felt like it friday. today's friday i just really have no clue. 

monday we went to the lake {cherry creek reservoir}
joshua LOVED it. and ate a lot of sand. 

i think i've for real lost our camera. 
makes me so mad. at myself. 
so therefore i can't take a good 9 month picture. 
or do joshua's 9 month post. 
i will soon though. 
i need to. 

another thing i need to do: 
start working out!!!
so i printed a calendar & made a workout schedule. 

this is my stern, YOU MUST FOLLOW THIS CALENDAR face.
i really need to do it. 

i've got the future on my mind. 
trusting the Lord & His timing and plan. 
 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 
Philippians 4:6

and here we are.
 jackson is a self proclaimed muffin man. 
joshua is a tad grumpy {maybe because he wanted to get up at 5:15am, but i wouldn't let him}
and i am just so thankful for this life.

happy friday :)