Tuesday Thoughts

yesterday was so hot. i don't even understand how it got so hot inside this house. i put jackson to sleep naked {except a diaper}. because i was so hot. i'm convinced this baby inside me was very hot as well. kept kicking me. a lot. seriously we were so hot.

my mind is spinning. i want so much for myself. i want to glorify God with every moment of my life. i want to be more. do more. live more. FOR CHRIST. i want all this, yet i don't do anything about it. i fail. every.stinking.day. i don't understand. {i mean, i do- yes, we're sinners living in a fallen world} but i feel like i'm just stubborn and dumb. i look around and see these women of God, full-heartedly chasing after their Savior with all that they are. and here i am, sitting, wishing i was in such great pursuit. and it makes no sense that i sit here and complain. that i let these thoughts stir in my head. sending me into a depression of sorts. and yet i do nothing. it makes not sense. i need help. and i think i need the help of someone else.

BUT that's not what i need. I NEED CHRIST. i need to rely on Him. not on my own selfish-lazy-dumb self. yes, it's overwhelming. but through Him, all things are possible.

too many thoughts for this tuesday...

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