got milk? ... got acne?

it all started about a month ago...
my mother & i noticed a not so sweet looking rash on my very sweet baby boy...{yea he's not too happy about it either}

and i was reading this post over here {ps. this is one of fav blogs to read}
and she, also with a newborn with a rash did some googling & found a face rash in breastfed babies can sometimes be caused be the momma's dairy intake. she stopped eating/drinking dairy and no more baby face rash...

so i gave it a try... it also cleared my babies face. yay.
{see he's pretty psyched about it too}

and then my mom noticed something else...
it had cleared up my face as well.

it started around 6th grade. didn't go away when i got my period. didn't go away when i started high school. didn't go away when i got my braces off. didn't go away when i started college. didn't even go away for my wedding day. didn't go away when i graduated college and started my masters. didn't go away when i had my first child. has never gone away... until now.
ACNE that is.
{yea, here i am. terrible acne and all}

i though it was a hoax. my skin was looking pretty clear... but being my stubborn self, i drank an entire glass of milk {and ate some chocolate chip cookies, of course}. the next morning: 3 terrrible. huge. red. painful. yucky zits.

ugh. so i looked it up... "At least three large-scale studies reported in the American Journal of Dermatology found a link between drinking milk and acne. NaturalNews reported about a study that found those who drank two or three glasses of milk a day had 44% higher chance of developing severe acne." source. also found website- and a few other sites/studies.

so this was no joke.
now i just have to come to the reality that i may never get to enjoy a nice, cold glass of chocolate milk again. no more pizza. no more mac n cheese. no more ice cream.
i literally just named my top 3 favorite foods in the whole universe.

for some people {like my mother} this would be no big deal. but for others {like picky picky eater, cheese and milk lover me} this will be hard.

but i have a choice. finally get rid of ACNE for the first time in over half my life?? or drink some milk. i think i'll chose the first.

so tonight i will be grocery shopping for coconut oil, coconut milk, non dairy cheese, etc.
wish me luck!
and if you have any suggestions about how to do this whole dairy free eating thing please let me know...

let's be honest here.

i'm freaking exhausted.
my son is sick.
he's cranky.
he is crying more and eating less.
we're on day 5 of this yuck.
there's too much laundry
too much to clean
too much to think about.

i'm just plain old tired.

i want my baby to be back to normal.
i wish i didn't have to do any more breathing treatments for him.
i love him.
i just want him to breathe easy and not cough.

i opened my mouth when i should have just slept.
i was up much to late for any good.
now it's come out in this ugly attitude of mine.

i should be thankful.
that he is getting better, slowly but surely.
that we are blessed beyond measure.
i can rest in the power and strength of the Holy Spirit.
that He holds it all.
every second i'm seeing glimpses of His glory.
that cute smile amidst a trying feed.
powerful cries- lungs and oxygen and vocal cords.
wheels on the bus go round and round and round.
modern medicine and doctors to heal his sick body.
wisdom from above, because we have no clue.
finally figuring out why i've had acne for over half my life...
cute boy chopping on all his fingers.
monthly menu planning.
we have the money to plan meals out for a whole month.
family to love my boy.
a daddy who comes to the rescue when this momma is just too tired.
lullaby renditions of coldplay.
finally closing those tired eyes.
time to make decisions.
learning new momma lessons.

“You, Lord, laid the foundation of the earth in the beginning,
and the heavens are the work of Your hands;
they will perish, but YOU remain;
they will all wear out like a garment,
like a robe You will roll them up,
like a garment they will be changed.
But YOU are the same,
and Your years will have no end.”
Hebrews 1:10-12

Considering Lent... year 2

so here it is again. 40 days till easter. ash wednesday. the beginning of Lent.
i sit pondering what is the purpose of this old Catholic tradition. what does it mean in my life, in the life of my family. much to my surprise my husband was already planning on speaking on it to our youth group. sacrifice. giving something up. preparing your heart. focusing on Him.
and then i'm sitting on the couch reading my blog... because i don't remember much & i like to look back. and i find this. whoa. i honestly don't remember. and then my honesty in my failure... my lent of don't. and i'm so thankful for this silly blog that not too many people read, because it's not about others reading- it's about me remembering.
and then i'm reading what she says about What Lent Really Means...
and i hear my husband speak on sacrifice & focusing. and see him living example & giving up his iPhone. he's all in. preparing his heart for the day that means everything.
so this year for Lent i'm preparing my heart. i'm ready to lean on Him, to trust Him in my failing, to sacrifice & focus.
1. another Lent of Don't
8 days to read through the gospels
8 days of giving
8 goodies given to neighbors
8 days each given to intentionally pray for 8 people
8 hand written notes of love
2. giving up of facebook & fiction books- more time to focus on Him
3. making it way through her Easter Devotional- Trail to the Tree

Lord, prepare me. let this season grow me and change me. let it open my eyes more fully to Your love and grace. so thankful for this life. for this sacrificing and preparing.

Here & Now ... There & Then

It started many months ago. A Monday morning Bible study. About 10 women and Beth Moore. Her lecture series on Revelation.

I missed many sessions. {I mean I had a baby, and then I was living with a newborn}. I didn’t always do my homework… And a few times I stood outside and held a crying babe.

But through this study I’ve learned a lot:
Figurative. Him “who is, and who was, and who is to come.” Tribulation to kingdom bliss. 7. Lampstands. Stars. Churches. The “I am.” Literal. Commendations. Warnings. Overcome. Horses. Cosmic Disturbances. Seals. Angels. One third. Remnant nation Israel. 12. Tribes. Apostles. Great multitude. Symbolic. Literal. Beasts. Great Occasion. River of life. Tree of life.
“Behold, I am coming soon!”

And in the end, I am struck by the same statement that I wrote during the very first session-
“All will be made perfect & complete in the end of days.”

Not to say that this whole study has been in vain. I am in awe of God’s might and power on display in this book. And even though none of us know what is literal, figurative, symbolic, or exact, it is all truth. In same way or another the great multitude will cry out in a loud voice:
‘Salvation belongs to our God,
who sits on the throne,
and to the Lamb.

Praise and glory
and wisdom and thanks and honor
and power and strength
be to our God for ever and ever.
Rev. 7: 10-12
And there will be beasts and an antichrist. And all theses unimaginable, too hard to even conceptualize things that will happen in the end of the age.

So I just rest in the power of the Lord. He knows. He’s the only one that knows. But in that rest, I know that this Revelation given to John on the island of Patmos is the end to my Bible for a reason.
A warning. Sure.
A hope. Definitely.

{From my listening guide}
The Divine Romance: Eccclesiastes 3:11
“God has made everything beautiful in its time. He has set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”

We only see a glimpse. A glimpse of His love, His power, His might, His holiness, His love.
Faithful and true.
He will make all things new.
He is coming soon.

Life Lately

my boy is so close to rolling over. it's pretty insane how awesome this kid is.

i started my 30 day shred on Jan. 1st. it 's Feb. 15th and i still have 4 more days to go.
whoops. it's okay... i have a baby.

monday... i lost my nike+ thing, i spent too much money at target, i burnt dinner.
then i had a mental breakdown.
my husband pushed me out the door so i could go for a run.
thank you dear husband.

that was my first run since I was like 20 weeks pregnant.
it was slow. it was only 1.67 miles. i am insanely sore.
but it was wonderful.

tuesday... was Valentines day: Love, LOVE party with the best of friends and kiddos. late afternoon nap with both my loves, dinner at our very favorite Chinese, Parenthood, chocolate ice cream, and a movie.
Loved spending lovely time with both my loves.

saturday... us Alethia Ladies are throwing a baby shower for Kaci dear & baby Jocelyn.
i think it's going to be out best shower yet!

since joshua got sick his goopy eye has been terrible.
so much green YUCK coming out of his eye.
i hate it.

baby laughs and smiles are my very favorite.

my baby break is over. Tupperware biz is back in business!
hit me up if you want some product or want to through a party!

i'm thanking God for all these gifts:
free laundry at my parents
long hair
my wonderful husband
winning {settlers}
pizza & a love cake with my very favorite family
an almost rolling boy
he grabs at everything
gas in the tank to get me where i need to be
handmade tutus
sewing machines {we'll see how i feel about this once i start these projects}
this miracle of a baby. seriously. babies are miracles. just look at that smile
plenty of 3-6 month clothes for my growing boy
that comfy bed
warm water & a washcloth to wash his goopy green eye
baby brother's basketball games
too many girl scout cookies
everyday love
feeling good
contentment with joy
God's provision every single day

Joshua Manuel: 3 months

Yesterday you turned 3 months old. Pretty much, you are no longer a newborn... I don't really know how I feel about that.
This month:
- you showed us how stubborn you can be
- you gave up your pacifier (I have no idea why)
- you got your first cold & nasty cough :( but it really didn't affect you too much- still my sweet boy.
- I started watching Jackson once a week. You gained an all day play date every Friday. He sure does love you and make you laugh!
- you became pro at sleeping through the night
- you let us know that you are for sure not a cuddler
- you grew out of 0-3months clothes
- you went through a growth spurt were you wanted to eat almost every 2 hours
- you went through a phase of only wanting to eat from one side... stressed your momma out.
- I got the flu and then 2 days later a clogged duct. no fun.
- you laughed out loud for real
- you're hating tummy time less and less everyday
- we love you more and more everyday!
You are such a sweet boy. You love to be looked at, talked to, and played with. You fall asleep on your own very easily. You are becoming more and more aware of what's going on... We can't just cart you around every where and know you are going to sleep through it all. It's an adjustment, but we know you are just growing up. I love right after bath time. I lotion you up and you smile and giggle the whole time. Your nakey body is just about the cutest thing I've ever seen. You're almost always playing with or trying to chop on your hands. When Daddy gets home from work (if your not sleeping) you just watch his every move and tell him all about your day. I have a feeling you are going to be a talker... You already have so much to say. You are so strong! You can hold up your head no problem and can support yourself on your legs easily. You love to bounce on the bed while looking at me, Daddy, or Kma. I can't wait to see what happens in your fourth month...

You really are the greatest baby. We love you. Too much.
Love, your Momma